Saturday, January 21, 2017

Mom Is Shocked What Her Son Learned In Math Class Until His Teacher Hilariously Explains The Reason

Little Billy was at home doing his math homework. He said to himself, ‘Two plus five, that son of a bitch is seven. Three plus six, the son of a bitch is nine.’

In that moment, his mother comes in and hears what he is saying. ‘Billy, what are you doing? Why are you saying that?’

Little Billy answered, ‘I’m doing my math homework, Mom.’ She said, ‘And is that what your teacher taught you?’ He replied, ‘Yes.’



The next day, the mother, worried about the education her son is receiving, goes to Little Billy’s school to talk to the teacher. The mother said to his math teacher, ‘I would like to know what you are teaching my son in math?’”

The teacher replied, ‘Right now, we are learning addition problems.’ Billy’s mother asked, ‘And are you teaching them to say two plus two, that son of a bitch is four?’ When the teacher stopped laughing she replied…”

“Not at all! What I taught them was two plus two, THE SUM OF WHICH IS four.’

Please share this joke with your friends if it made you laugh!

Thursday, January 19, 2017

Doctor’s Golden Advice For Wife's Temper


A man goes to the Doctor, worried about his wife’s temper.

The doctor asks, “What’s the problem?”

The man says, “Doctor, I don’t know what to do. Every day my wife seems to lose her temper for no reason. It scares me.”

The doctor says, “I have a cure for that. When it seems that your wife is getting angry, just take a glass of water and start swishing it in your mouth. Just swish and swish but don’t swallow it until she either leaves the room or calms down.”


Two weeks later, the man comes back to the doctor looking fresh and reborn.

The man says, “Doctor, that was a brilliant idea! Every time my wife started losing it, I swished with water. I swished and swished, and she calmed right down! How does a glass of water do that?”

The doctor says, “The water itself does nothing. It’s keeping your mouth shut that does the trick.”

Please SHARE if you love this doctor’s golden advice.

A Boy proposed his Girl friend for Marriage

A Boy proposed his Girl-friend for Marriage…

Girl: Tell me.. who do you love most in this world..?

Boy: You, of course!

Girl: what am I to you?
Boy: The boy thought for a moment and looked intently in her eyes and said
“You are missing part of my heart”.

She smiled, and she accepted his proposal.

After their wedding, the couple had a sweet and happy life for a while. However, the youthful couple began to drift apart due to the busy schedule of life and the never-ending worries of daily problems, their life became difficult.

All the challenges posed by the harsh realities of life began to drift away their dreams and love for each other. The couple began to have more quarrels and each quarrel became make their relation more worst.


One day, after the quarrel, the girl ran out of the house.
At the opposite side of the road, she shouted,
”You don’t love me…!!!”

The boy hated her childishness and out of impulse, said,

“May be, it was a mistake for us to be together..!!!”

You were never the missing part of my ____!!!”

Suddenly, she turned quiet and stood there for a long, while She regretted what he said but words spoken cant be taken back. With tears in her eyes, she went home to pack her things and Before leaving the house, she left a note for him..;

“If I’m really not the missing part of your love, let me go and search for some one who is..…

It is less painful this way… let us go on our separate ways and search for our own partners…!!”

Five years went by….

He never remarried but he had tried to find out about her life indirectly. She had left the country and was living her dreams.
He use to regret on what he did but never tried to bring her back. In the dark and lonely night, he lit his cigarette and felt the lingering ache in his heart. He couldn’t bring himself to admit that he was missing her.

One day, they finally met, At the airport, He was going away on a business trip. He saw her, She was standing there alone, with just the security door separating them.

She smiled at him gently.

Boy: How are you..?

Girl: I’m fine. How about you.., Have you found your heart’s missing part…?
Boy: No.
Girl: I’ll be flying to New York in the next flight.
Boy: I’ll be back in 2 weeks time. Give me a call when you are back, You know my number, Nothing has changed.
With a smile, she turned around and waved good-bye.
“Good-bye . . .”
Same evening he heard of a plane crash which was headed to New York. He tried to know about her and found that, She died.
Midnight… Once again, he lit his cigarette… And like before, he felt the lingering ache in his heart. He finally knew, she was that missing part that he had carelessly broken…!!!

“Sometimes, people say things out of moments of fury.

We take out our 99% frustrations at our loved ones, And even though we know that we ought to”think twice and act wisely”, we actually don’t do it. Things happen each day, many of which are beyond our control.”
Try not to hurt your loved once, because a moment of anger could be a lifetime punishment.

The Smart Wife and Blender

Jealous husband: my wife where are you?

Wife :at home love

Husband: are you sure?

Wife: yes

Husband : turn on the blender.


Wife: (turns blender on) reeereeeereeee

Husband: ok my love goodbye

Another day, Jealous husband: my wife where are you?

Wife: at home love

Husband: are you sure?

Wife: yes

Husband: turn on the blender

Wife: (turns blender on) reeereeeereeee

Husband: ok my love goodbye.

The next day, the husband decides to go home without notice, finds his son alone and asks him “Son, where is your mother?”

Son: I do not know, she went out with the blender ….. GOSH…..

Wednesday, January 18, 2017

7 Powerful Quotes For When You Feel Lost In Life

There are moments in our lives where we feel utterly and entirely lost. There are no clear directions or paths for us to take, just one big ball of confusion without an instruction manual or a tutorial as to how to "live."

This is more than okay, for we all become lost in life every now and then. Sometimes it's better to surrender yourself to the universe and let the world show you your next adventure.

The next time you feel like you're completely lost, remembering these quotes could save you a lot of trouble and time the next time it happens to you!

1. "You can't start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading the last one."

If you are constantly looking back on the past, then you can never truly live in the present. You must keep moving forward in your life no matter how lost you feel. Now's the time for you to go out there and discover new and amazing things you could be enjoying!

2. "Sometimes you need to talk to a three-year-old just so you can understand life again."

This means that sometimes adults too often let the serious things in life suck all the joy and fun away from their lives. Sometimes we need to have a quick chat with the younger side of ourselves to revisit what it means to live again. Let yourself be a kid every now and then, not everything needs to be so critical all of the time.

3. "Sometimes you need to step outside, get some air, and remind yourself of who you are and where you want to be."

This is pretty self-explanatory. However, there are times where the answer is not always clear, reminding us of who we are, what we love doing, and where we would rather be right now. Sometimes the answer for a new direction or path is usually the obvious one right in front of us.



4. "If it doesn't open, it's not your door."

If your calling isn't exactly calling back to you, this isn't necessarily a bad thing. Perhaps it was something that you really wanted to try but didn't work out. That's alright, there are bound to be other doors that you can open, that are made to be opened specifically by you. Never stop finding new opportunities to test yourself!

5. "If you don't like where you are, move. You are not a tree."

If you are not satisfied with where you are living, then be that change you so desire. Find the place that is just right for you, and stop at nothing to achieve those dreams and goals. If there is nothing holding you back and you have the means to go and fight for what you want most, do it. Follow your gut instincts!

6. "Sometimes the bad things that happen in our lives put us directly on the path to the best things that will ever happen to us."

One of the most important lessons in life that we must learn is how to accept the good times, along with the bad times, in our lives. Sometimes, the bad things that happened to us, happened for a reason, giving us a new path to go on for newer and better things. It may be hard, but find that new direction to embark on, take it, and never stop moving forward.

7. "Always remember that your present situation is not your final destination. The best is yet to come."

Remember that not everything is permanent. Being temporary can actually be a very beautiful thing. There is always another path that can lead you to something much better or something that you've never experienced before. Be open to the limitless possibilities of the world around you!

It's okay to feel lost, just remember that you have more than one path that lies ahead of you! The world will always give you the chance to try something new!

Wanted Husband


A lonely 70-year-old widow decided that it was time to marry again. She put an ad in the local newspaper that read: "Husband wanted! Must be in my age group, must not beat me, must not run around on me and must still be good in bed. All applicants please apply in person."

The following day, she heard the doorbell. Much to her dismay, she opened the door to see a gray-haired gentleman sitting in a wheelchair. He had no arms or legs.

"You're not really asking me to consider you, are you?" the widow asked: "Just look at you -- you have no legs!"


The old gent smiled: "Therefore, I cannot run around on you!"

"You don't have any arms either!" she snorted.

Again, the old man smiled: "Therefore, I can never beat you!"

She raised an eyebrow and asked intently: "Are you still good in bed?"

The old man leaned back, beamed a big smile and said: "I rang the doorbell, didn't I?"

Tuesday, January 17, 2017

Why Women Are Special - Read this complete

Husband & Wife were watching TV when Wife said, "I'm tired, and it's getting late. I think I'll go to bed."
She went to the kitchen to make sandwiches for the next day's lunches.

Rinsed out the bowls, took vegetable out of the freezer for morning, checked the cereal box levels, filled the sugar container, put spoons and bowls on the table and started the coffee pot for brewing the next morning.

She then ironed a shirt and secured a loose button.

She picked up the game pieces left on the table, put the phone back on the charger and put the telephone book into the drawer.


She emptied a wastebasket and hung up a towel to dry.

She yawned and stretched and headed for the bedroom.

She stopped by the desk and wrote a note to the teacher and pulled a text book out from hiding under the chair.

She signed a birthday card for a friend, Addressed and stamped the envelope and wrote a quick note for the grocery store.


She put both near her bag.

Then she washed her face, put on her moisturizer, brushed her teeth.....

Husband called out,

"I thought you were going to bed."

"I'm on my way," she said.

She put some water into the dog's dish, then made sure the doors were locked.

She looked in on each of the kids and turned out their bedside lamps and radios, and had a brief conversation with one kid who is still up doing homework.

In her own room, she set the alarm; laid out clothing for the next day.

Said her prayers, and visualized the accomplishment of her goals. about that time,

Husband turned off the TV and announced to no one in particular.

"I'm going to bed."

And he did... without another thought.

Anything Extraordinary Here?


Share this to phenomenal women today... they' ll love you for it!

And Forward this to as many men as you can so that they know why women are so special......!!!

Engineering Humor

An engineer was crossing a road one-day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess."

He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket.
The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week."

The engineer took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to the pocket.


The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want. "

Again the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket.

Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter?

I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, and that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want.
Why won't you kiss me?"

The engineer said, "Look, I'm an engineer.

I don't have time for a girlfriend, but having a talking frog, now that's cool."

Monday, January 16, 2017

Think Before You Judge - Moral Story

A doctor entered the hospital in hurry after being called in for an urgent surgery.
He answered the call asap, changed his clothes and went directly to the surgery block.
He found the boy’s father going and coming in the hall waiting for the doctor. Once seeing him, the dad yelled:

“Why did you take all this time to come? Don’t you know that my son’s life is in danger? Don’t you have the sense of responsibility?”



The doctor smiled and said:

“I am sorry, I wasn’t in the hospital and I came the fastest I could after receiving the call…… And now, I wish you’d calm down so that I can do my work”

“Calm down?! What if your son was in this room right now, would you calm down? If your own son dies now what will you do??” said the father angrily.

The doctor smiled again and replied: “I will say what Job said in the Holy Book “From dust we came and to dust we return, blessed be the name of God”. Doctors cannot prolong lives. Go and intercede for your son, we will do our best by God’s grace”

“Giving advice when we’re not concerned is so easy” Murmured the father.

The surgery took some hours after which the doctor went out happy,

“Thank goodness!, your son is saved!” And without waiting for the father’s reply he carried on his way running. “If you have any question, ask the nurse!!”

“Why is he so arrogant? He couldn’t wait some minutes so that I ask about my son’s state” Commented the father when seeing the nurse minutes after the doctor left.

The nurse answered, tears coming down her face: “His son died yesterday in a road accident, he was in the burial when we called him for your son’s surgery. And now that he saved your son’s life, he left running to finish his son’s burial.”

Moral:
NEVER JUDGE ANYONE BECAUSE You never know how their life is & what they’re going through, think about this moment.


How To Make Someone Feel Guilty - Psychology

A guy asked a girl in a library;

“Do you mind if I sit beside you”?

The girl answered with a loud voice; "I DON’T WANT TO SPEND THE NIGHT WITH YOU!!!"

All the students in the library started staring at the guy and he was embarrassed.




After a couple of minutes,

the girl walked quietly to the guy’s table and she told him “I study psychology and I know what a man is thinking, -

I guess you felt embarrassed, right?”

The guy responded with a loud voice: "$200 JUST FOR ONE NIGHT!? THAT’S TOO MUCH!!!" And all the people in the library looked at the girl in shock and the guy whispered in her ears;

“I study Law and I know how to make someone feel guilty"