Monday, August 21, 2017

Thank You!

A union boss walks into a bar next door to the factory and is about to order a drink to celebrate Obama’s victory when he sees a guy close by wearing a Romney for President button and two beers in front of him.

He doesn’t have to be an Einstein to know that this guy is a Republican. So, he shouts over to the bartender so loudly that everyone can hear, "Drinks for everyone in here, bartender, but not for the Republican."

Soon after the drinks have been handed out, the Republican gives him a big smile, waves at him, then says, "Thank you!" in an equally loud voice. This infuriates the union boss, so he once again loudly orders drinks for everyone except the Republican. As before, this does not seem to bother the Republican. He continues to smile, and again yells, "Thank you!"
So just to make his point one more time, the union boss once again loudly orders drinks for everyone except the Republican. But, as before, this does not seem to bother the Republican. He continues to smile, and again yells, "Thank you!"

Frustrated, the union boss asks the bartender, "What the hell is the matter with that Republican? I’ve ordered three rounds of drinks for everyone in the bar but him, and all the silly ass does is smile and thank me. Is he nuts?"

"Nope," replies the bartender. "He owns the place."

Texan In Ireland

A Texan walks in to a pub in Ireland and clears his voice to the crowd of drinkers. He says, I hear you Irish are a bunch of hard drinkers. Ill give $500 American dollars to anybody in here who can drink 10 pints of Guinness back-to-back.

The room is quiet, and no one takes up the Texans offer. One man even leaves.

Thirty minutes later the same gentleman who left shows back up and taps the Texan on the shoulder. Is your bet still good? asks the Irishman.
The Texan says yes and asks the bartender to line up 10 pints of Guinness. Immediately the Irishman tears into all 10 of the pint glasses, drinking them all back-to-back.

The other pub patrons cheer as the Texan sits in amazement. The Texan gives the Irishman the $500 and says, If ya dont mind me askin, where did you go for that 30 minutes you were gone?

The Irishman replies, Oh I had to go to the pub down the street to see if I could do it first.

Irish Fight

Into a belfast pub comes Paddy Murphy looking like he'd just been run over by a train.

His arm is in a sling,his nose is broken, his face is cut and bruised and he is walking with a limp.

"What happend to you?", asks Sean the bartender.

"Jamie O Conner and me had a fight", says Paddy.

"That little sh*t, O Conner", says Sean, "he couldnt do that to you, he must of had something in his hand."

"That he did", says Paddy, "a shovel is what he had, and a terrible licken he gave me with it."

"Well", says Sean, "you should have defended yourself, didn't you have something in your hand?"

"That I did", said Paddy..."Mrs. O Conner's breast, and a thing of beauty it was, but useless in a fight."

Wednesday, August 16, 2017

I Already Paid

A man in a bar had a couple of beers, and the bartender told him he owed 4 dollars.

"But I paid, don't you remember?" said the customer.

"Okay," said the bartender. "If you say you paid, you did."

The man then went outside and told a friend that the bartender couldn't keep track of his customers' bills. The second man then rushed in and ordered a beer. When it came time to pay he pulled the same stunt.

The barkeep replied, "If you say you paid, I'll take your word for it."

Soon the customer went into the street, saw an old friend, and told him how to get free drinks.

The man hurried into the bar and began to drink high balls when, suddenly, the bartender leaned over and said, "You know, a funny thing happened in here tonight. Two men were drinking beer, neither paid and both claimed that they did. The next guy who tries that is going to get punched right in the nose."

"Don't bother me with! your troubles," the final patron responded. "Just give me my change and I'll be on my way."

Glass Eye

A guy walks into a bar. He sits down at the end of the bar, next to another guy, who was the only patron in the bar when he walked in. He talks to him for about 5 minutes then moves to the other end of the bar.

The bar owner walks up to him and asks if he would like a drink. He orders a beer and says, "Man! That guy down there sure does complain alot. He thinks he's got it rough, but his life is easy!"

The bartender looks at him and says, "Hey, mister! I've seen you in here before. You're in here any day of the week at any time. Just what do you do for a living?"

The guy replies, "I make bets for a living. I'll show you. I'll bet you $5 I can bite my right eye!" The bartender looks at him and says, "OK, you're on."

The guy takes his glass eye out and clenches it between his teeth.

The bartender says, "I didn't know you had a glass eye. You win."

The guy then says, "I'll let you win your money back. I'll bet you $5 I can bite my left eye."

The bartender thinks for a moment and replies, "I know you're not blind so you can't have 2 glass eyes. OK, your on!"

The guy then proceeds to take his false teeth out of his mouth and clamps them over his left eye. With this, the bartender says, "Hey buddy, you won again. As you can see,I don't do a lot of business in here. I can't afford to make any more bets with you."

The guy replies, "I'll tell you what. I'll give you a guaranteed way to win your money back. I'll bet you $10 that I can walk 6 feet away and pee in this bottle, which I'll leave here on the bar. I won't miss a drop. I won't even hit the rim, it will go right in the bottle."

After a few minutes of thought, the bartender says, "There's no way! You're on!"
The guy walks 6 feet from the bar, drops his pants and pees all over everything. He pees on the bar, the stools and the floor. He doesn't even come close to hitting the bottle, let alone getting it in the bottle. With this, the bartender starts laughing and exclaims, "Ahah! I knew you couldn't do it. I won my back my $10!!!"

 Just then, the guy at the other end of the bar passes out. The bartender looks down at him and says, "What happened to him?"

The guy replies, "Oh, he'll be alright. I just bet him $1000 that I could piss all over you and your bar and you'd laugh about it."

Monkey in Bar

The bartender screams at the guy,

"Did you see what your monkey just did?"

The guy says, "No, what?"

"He just ate the cue ball off my pool table - whole!" says the bartender.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron.

"He eats everything in sight, the little twerp. I'll pay for the cue ball and stuff."

He finishes his drink, pays his bill, and leaves.

Two weeks later he's in the bar again, and he has his monkey with him.

He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar again.

While the man is drinking, the monkey finds a maraschino cherry on the bar. He grabs it, sticks it up his butt, pulls it out, and eats it. The bartender is disgusted.

"Did you see what your monkey did now?"

"Now what?" asks the patron.

"Well, he stuck a maraschino cherry up his butt, then pulled it out and ate it!" says the barkeeper.

"Yeah, that doesn't surprise me," replies the patron.

"He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he ate that damn cue ball, he now measures everything first!"

Sunday, July 30, 2017

Military: A Beautiful True Love Story

One day, a young guy and a young girl fell in love.

But the guy came from a poor family. The girl’s parents weren’t too happy.

So the young man decided not only to court the girl but to court her parents as well. In time, the parents saw that he was a good man and was worthy of their daughter’s hand.

But there was another problem: The man was a soldier. Soon, war broke out and he was being sent overseas for a year. The week before he left, the man knelt on his knee and asked his lady love, “Will you marry me?” She wiped a tear, said yes, and they were engaged. They agreed that when he got back in one year, they would get married.

But tragedy struck. A few days after he left, the girl had a major vehicular accident. It was a head-on collision.
When she woke up in the hospital, she saw her father and mother crying. Immediately, she knew there was something wrong.

She later found out that she suffered brain injury. The part of her brain that controlled her face muscles was damaged. Her once lovely face was now disfigured. She cried as she saw herself in the mirror. “Yesterday, I was beautiful. Today, I’m a monster.” Her body was also covered with so many ugly wounds.

Right there and then, she decided to release her fiance from their promise. She knew he wouldn’t want her anymore. She would forget about him and never see him again.

For one year, the soldier wrote many letters—but she wouldn’t answer. He phoned her many times but she wouldn’t return her calls.

But after one year, the mother walked into her room and announced, “He’s back from the war.”

The girl shouted, “No! Please don’t tell him about me. Don’t tell him I’m here!”

The mother said, “He’s getting married,” and handed her a wedding invitation.

The girl’s heart sank. She knew she still loved him—but she had to forget him now.
With great sadness, she opened the wedding invitation.

And then she saw her name on it!

Confused, she asked, “What is this?”

That was when the young man entered her room with a bouquet of flowers. He knelt beside her and asked, “Will you marry me?”

The girl covered her face with her hands and said, “I’m ugly!”

The man said, “Without your permission, your mother sent me your photos. When I saw your photos, I realized that nothing has changed. You’re still the person I fell in love. You’re still as beautiful as ever. Because I love you!

These are the 10 dangerous side effects of sleep deprivation! Must Read!

Most people, particularly college students and call center agents, usually brag that they are sleeping lesser than the required eight hours. Little did they know that although espresso shots and four cans of energy drink might benefit them in doing their work at 4 in the morning with 2 hours of sleep, in the long term run, their body will eventually suffer.

The body requires seven to eight hours of sleep in order to rest properly and make it function on the next day. Lack of sleep might affect your memory, health, looks, and even your sex life and your goal of losing weight!

Here are the ten dangerous side effects of not having a proper sleep:

1) Accidents
Did you know that sleep deprivation was a factor in some of the biggest disasters in recent history: the 1979 nuclear accident at Three Mile Island, the massive Exxon Valdez oil spill, the 1986 nuclear meltdown at Chernobyl, and others. Yes! All because of being sleep deprived!

Drowsiness can reduce reaction time as much as driving drunk. Studies show that sleep loss and poor-quality sleep also lead to accidents and injuries on the job. In one study, workers who complained about excessive daytime sleepiness had significantly more work accidents, particularly repeated work accidents. They also had more sick days per accident.

2) It makes you dumber
Aiming for a higher grade? You should get a lot of sleep!

Sleep plays a critical role in thinking and learning. Lack of sleep hurts these cognitive processes in many ways. First, it impairs attention, alertness, concentration, reasoning, and problem solving. This makes it more difficult to learn efficiently.

3) Health problems
Heart disease, heart attack, heart failure, irregular heartbeat, high blood pressure, stroke, diabetes.

These are just some of the diseases a sleep-deprived person can get if they continue damaging their body by not getting enough sleep. According to some estimates, 90% of people with insomnia — a sleep disorder characterized by trouble falling and staying asleep — also have another health condition.

4) Kills sex drive
Do you want some sexy time but you always yawn while removing your clothes?

Sleep specialists say that sleep-deprived men and women report lower libidos and less interest in sex. Depleted energy, sleepiness, and increased tension may be largely to blame.
5) Depression
Over time, lack of sleep and sleep disorders can contribute to the symptoms of depression. In a 2005 Sleep in America poll, people who were diagnosed with depression or anxiety were more likely to sleep less than six hours at night.

6) It makes you look older
Most people have experienced sallow skin and puffy eyes after a few nights of missed sleep. But it turns out that chronic sleep loss can lead to lackluster skin, fine lines, and dark circles under the eyes.

“It’s during deep sleep — what we call slow-wave sleep — that growth hormone is released,” says sleep expert Phil Gehrman, Ph.D. “It seems to be part of normal tissue repair — patching the wear and tear of the day.”

7) Memory loss
In 2009, American and French researchers determined that brain events called “sharp wave ripples” are responsible for consolidating memory. The ripples also transfer learned information from the hippocampus to the neocortex of the brain, where long-term memories are stored. Sharp wave ripples occur mostly during the deepest levels of sleep.

8) It makes you gain weight
Dreaming of that Kate Upton or Chris Pratt body? Then better have a good eight-hour tucked in sleep on your bed every night!

When it comes to body weight, it may be that if you snooze, you lose. Lack of sleep seems to be related to an increase in hunger and appetite, and possibly to obesity. According to a 2004 study, people who sleep less than six hours a day were almost 30 percent more likely to become obese than those who slept seven to nine hours.

9) Impairs judgment
Sleep-deprived people seem to be especially prone to poor judgment when it comes to assessing what lack of sleep is doing to them. In our increasingly fast-paced world, functioning on less sleep has become a kind of badge of honor. But sleep specialists say if you think you’re doing fine on less sleep, you’re probably wrong. And if you work in a profession where it’s important to be able to judge your level of functioning, this can be a big problem.

In the “Whitehall II Study,” British researchers looked at how sleep patterns affected the mortality of more than 10,000 British civil servants over two decades. The results, published in 2007, showed that those who had cut their sleep from seven to five hours or fewer a night nearly doubled their risk of death from all causes. In particular, lack of sleep doubled the risk of death from cardiovascular disease.

Are you convinced now to get some sleep? Time to drink that warm milk and put your sleep mask!

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Eating this incorrectly cooked common food that can cause tapeworms to live in your brain

Tapeworm infection can be obtained by consuming raw or under cooked meat of some infected animals.

Inside the intestine of a human, the young formation of the tapeworm caused by the infected meat or larva progresses into an adult tapeworm. Both of the adults and children which contains uncooked pork tapeworm can infect themselves if they have poor hygiene. They can swallow tapeworm eggs that they have picked up with their bare hands while wiping or scratching their anus or the skin near it.

The Case

Frequently, tapeworms are located in the large intestines inside the human body but a rare case of a British man who has been diagnosed with tapeworm that has been found inside his brain tissue which puzzled a lot of doctors.

He underwent from a lingering headache for almost a year and none of the medical treatments have given him a relief. At that moment, he goes through an MRI where the doctors have found out the tapeworm inside his brain. What is more surprising is that they have found out that the tapeworm has been living there for almost 4 years now.

The man contains a Sparganosis which is a parasitic infection that was caused by the tapeworm Spirometra erinaceieuropaei. This kind of infection can only be found in cats and dogs where this form can range a shocking length up to a meter and half.

What is the cause?

Although humans can acquire this infection is several ways, still consuming incorrectly cooked pork is the most common way of being infected with this. The type that can be found in incorrectly cooked pork that is known as Taenia Solium can infect humans in the following ways below:

  • When you consume incorrectly cooked pork that came from infected pigs. This can lead to taeniasis, an adult worm that lives in the pig’s intestines that can actually affect the human brain in the form of larvae through contact from an infected pig or human. These larvae can affect several numbers of tissues in the body.
  • When the larvae touch the nervous system, this can result to the development of severe brain infection which is known as neurocysticercosis. In some cases where the worm attacks the brain, it may lead to epilepsy.

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Saturday, July 29, 2017

How To Make Your Hair Permanently Straight Using Coconut Milk and Lemon

Having a straight hair is almost everyone’s dream. If the hair is beautifully straight, it reflects more character and personality. It is also stylish in a simpler way. A lot of people invest much in salons, buying straightening irons and other chemical related products just to achieve the dream hair.

Due to this much heating and chemicals, the hair dries out easily with split ends all over. It may look straight but not pretty anymore.

To avoid these misfortunes, it is recommended to straighten your hair naturally. This is an old, traditional yet effective way of flawlessly straightening your hair from being wavy and curly.

Take down these 5 easy steps to achieve your dream hair.

Step 1:
Combine 1 cup of coconut oil with the lemon juice. Mix well to make a homogeneous mixture.

Step 2:
Apply the mixture from root to tip. Squeeze the hair softly so the mixture would get individually in the strands.

Step 3:
Wrap the hair with a warm towel or cellophane to prevent the mixture for spilling out. Leave it for 15 minutes or more for best results.

Step 4:
Rinse your hair with water and shampoo. Put also a conditioner and massage the scalp. Wash again with water.

Step 5:
Blow dry your hair. You’ll notice improvement on your hair as it become straighter than it used to be.

Repeat all the methods regularly and see a big difference. Your hair will not only straighten but will also appear silkier, softer and shinier.

Coconut milk is well- known for its permanently hair straightening properties but adding lemon juice with it will give you the best outcome.

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