Friday, April 28, 2017

The Elephant Rope - A Full Of Lesson Story!


As a man was passing the elephants, he suddenly stopped, confused by the fact that these huge creatures were being held by only a small rope tied to their front leg. No chains, no cages.

It was obvious that the elephants could, at anytime, break away from their bonds but for some reason, they did not.

He saw a trainer nearby and asked why these animals just stood there and made no attempt to get away.


“Well,” trainer said, “when they are very young and much smaller we use the same size rope to tie them and, at that age, it’s enough to hold them. As they grow up, they are conditioned to believe they cannot break away. They believe the rope can still hold them, so they never try to break free.”

The man was amazed. These animals could at any time break free from their bonds but because they believed they couldn’t, they were stuck right where they were.

--- End ---

Like the elephants, how many of us go through life hanging onto a belief that we cannot do something, simply because we failed at it once before?

Failure is part of learning; we should never give up the struggle in life.


Shake off Your Problems

A man’s favorite donkey falls into a deep precipice.

He can’t pull it out no matter how hard he tries.

"Oh God! What should I do?" He ask himself.

He therefore decides to bury it alive.


Soil is poured onto the donkey from above.

The donkey feels the load, shakes it off, and steps on it.

More soil is poured.

It shakes it off and steps up.

The more the load was poured, the higher it rose.

By noon, the donkey was grazing in green pastures.

--- End ---

After much shaking off (of problems) And stepping up (learning from them), One will graze in GREEN PASTURES.

...Amen


When The Couple Found Out That This Boy Wasn't Sick, The Truth Surprise Them!

A 24 year old boy seeing out from the train’s window shouted…

“Dad, look the trees are going behind!”

Dad smiled and a young couple sitting nearby, looked at the 24 year old’s childish behavior with pity, suddenly he again exclaimed…

“Dad, look the clouds are running with us!”

The couple couldn’t resist and said to the old man…

“Why don’t you take your son to a good doctor?”


The old man smiled and said…

“I did and we are just coming from the hospital, my son was blind from birth, he just got his eyes today.”

--- End ---

Every single person on the planet has a story.

Don’t judge people before you truly know them.

The truth might surprise you.

Thursday, April 27, 2017

Mouthology

A Professor was traveling by boat. On his way he asked the sailor:

“Do you know Biology, Ecology, Zoology, Geography, physiology?

The sailor said no to all his questions.

Professor: What the hell do you know on earth. You will die of illiteracy.


After a while the boat started sinking. The Sailor asked the Professor, do you know swiminology & escapology from sharkology?

The professor said no.

Sailor: “Well, sharkology & crocodilogy will eat your assology, headology & you will dieology because of your mouthology.

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Wednesday, April 26, 2017

Wrong Email Address


A couple going on vacation but his wife was on a business trip so he went to the destination first and his wife would meet him the next day.

When he reached his hotel, he decided to send his wife a quick email.

Unfortunately, when typing her address, he mistyped a letter and his note was directed instead to an elderly preacher’s wife whose husband had passed away only the day before.


When the grieving widow checked her email, she took one look at the monitor, let out a piercing scream, and fell to the floor in a dead faint.

Image result for shocked old lady face

At the sound, her family rushed into the room and saw this note on the screen:

Dearest Wife,
Just got checked in. Everything prepared for your arrival tomorrow.

P.S. Sure is hot down here.

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Tuesday, April 25, 2017

Easy To Swallow?

My sister, Paula, and her husband, Chris, had just finished tucking their young ones into bed one evening when they heard crying coming from the children's room.

Rushing in, they found Tommy crying hysterically.

He had accidentally swallowed a 5p piece and was sure he was going to die.


No amount of talking could change his mind.

Trying to calm him, Chris palmed a 5p coin that he happened to have in his pocket and pretended to remove it from Tommy's ear.

Tommy, naturally, was delighted. In a flash, he snatched it from his father's hand, swallowed it and demanded cheerfully - 'Do it again, Dad!'

Speed Trap! - A Funny True Story

Police Officer Bryant found a perfect hiding place for watching for over speeding motorists.

One day, the officer was amazed when everyone was under the speed limit,

so Bryant investigated and found the problem.


10 year old Dennis was standing on the side of the road with a huge hand painted sign which said "Radar Trap Ahead."

A little more investigative work led the officer to the boy's accomplice, another boy about 100 yards beyond the radar trap with a sign reading "Tips" and a bucket at his feet, full of change.

Amusing Married Men Only Story Men Only

Apparently in a small town somewhere in the USA there is a large factory that will only recruit married men.

One of the local women, one Brenda Davy, a feisty young lady, was angry about this and demanded to speak to the manager to find out why.

Brenda demanded to know,
'Why is it you limit your employees to married men? Is it because you think women are weak, dumb, cantankerous.......or what?'


'Not at all, Ma'am,' the Factory Manager replied.

'It is because our employees are used to obeying orders, are accustomed to being shoved around, know how to keep their mouths shut and don't pout when I yell at them.'


Wednesday, April 19, 2017

You Can Take It With You

There once was a rich man who was near death. He was very grieved because he had worked so hard for his money and wanted to be able to take it with him to heaven. So he began to pray that he might be able to take some of his wealth with him.

An angel heard his plea and appeared to him. "Sorry, but you can't take your wealth with you."

The man begged the angel to speak to God to see if He might bend the rules. The man continued to pray that his wealth could follow him.

The angel reappeared and informed the man that God had decided to allow him to take one suitcase with him. Overjoyed, the man gathered his largest suitcase and filled it with pure gold bars and placed it beside his bed.

Soon afterward, he died and showed up at the gates of heaven to greet St. Peter.


St. Peter, seeing the suitcase, said, "Hold on, you can't bring that in here!"

The man explained to St. Peter that he had permission and asked him to verify his story with the Lord.

Sure enough, St. Peter checked it out, came back and said, "You're right. You are allowed one carry-on bag, but I'm supposed to check its contents before letting it through."

St. Peter opened the suitcase to inspect the worldly items that the man found too precious to leave behind and exclaimed, "You brought pavement?"

"The great street of the city of heaven was of pure gold."
- Revelation 21:21


Wrong Funeral

I was at the funeral of my dearest friend ­ my mother. She finally had lost her long battle with cancer. The hurt was so intense; I found it hard to breathe at times. Always supportive, Mother clapped loudest at my school plays, held the box of tissues while listening to my first heartbreak, comforted me at my father's death, encouraged me in College, and prayed for me my entire life.

When mother's illness was diagnosed, my sister had a new baby and my brother had recently married his childhood sweetheart, so it fell on me, the 27-year-old middle child without entanglements, to take care of her. I counted it an honor.

'What now, Lord?' I asked sitting in church. My life stretched out before me as an empty abyss. My brother sat stoically with his face toward the cross while clutching his wife's hand. My sister sat slumped against her husband's shoulder, his arms around her as she cradled their child. All so deeply grieving, no one noticed I sat alone.

My place had been with our mother, preparing her meals, helping her walk, taking her to the doctor, seeing to her medication, reading the Bible together. Now she was with the Lord...My work was finished, and I was alone. I heard a door open and slam shut at the back of the church. Quick footsteps hurried along the carpeted floor. An exasperated young man looked around briefly and then sat next to me. He folded his hands and placed them on his lap. His eyes were brimming with tears. He began to sniffle.


"I'm late," he explained, though no explanation was necessary.

After several eulogies, he leaned over and commented, "Why do they keep calling Mary by the name of Margaret?''

"Because, that was her name, Margaret. Never Mary, no one called her Mary,'" I whispered.

I wondered why this person couldn't have sat on the other side of the church. He interrupted my grieving with his tears and fidgeting. Who was this stranger anyway?

"Isn't this the Lutheran church?"

"No, the Lutheran church is across the street."

"Oh."

"I believe you're at the wrong funeral, Sir."

The solemness of the occasion mixed with the realization of the man's mistake bubbled up inside me and came out as laughter. I cupped my hands over my face, hoping it would be interpreted as sobs. The creaking pew gave me away. Sharp looks from other mourners only made the situation seem more hilarious. I peeked at the bewildered, misguided man seated beside me. He was laughing too, as he glanced around, deciding it was too late for an uneventful exit. I imagined Mother laughing.

At the final 'Amen,' we darted out a door and into the parking lot. "I do believe we'll be the talk of the town," he smiled.

He said his name was Rick and, since he had missed his aunt's funeral, asked me out for a cup of coffee. That afternoon began a lifelong journey for me with this man who attended the wrong funeral, but was in the right place. A year after our meeting, we were married at a country church where he was the assistant pastor. This time we both arrived at the same church, right on time.

In my time of sorrow, God gave me laughter. In place of loneliness, God gave me love. This past June, we celebrated our twenty-second wedding anniversary. Whenever anyone asks us how we met, Rick tells them, 'Her mother and my Aunt Mary introduced us, and it's truly a match made in heaven.'

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