Pearly Gates

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St. Peter looked up,   and over 1000 folks from New Orleans were converging on the Pearly Gates.

Never having had more than one or two persons a day from New Orleans before,   he ran to God and asked him what to do.

God told him,   “Don’t worry,   St. Peter.   There’s been a terrible flood in New Orleans.   That’s the reason for the large number of New Orleanians showing up at once.”

St. Peter ran back to the Pearly Gates,   and then ran right back to God yelling,”They’re gone,   they’re gone!”

God said calmly,   “St. Peter,   those 1000 people from New Orleans could not be gone that quickly.”

St. Peter said,   “No,   the Pearly Gates!   They’re gone!”

—End—

Pope’s Blessing

The Pope was finishing his sermon.   He ended it with the Latin phrase,   “Tuti Homini”   – Blessed be Mankind.

A women’s rights group approached the Pope the next day.   They noticed that the Pope blessed all Mankind,   but not Womankind.   The next day,   after his sermon,   the Pope concluded by saying,   “Tuti Homini,   et Tuti Femini”   – Blessed be Mankind and Womankind.

The next day a gay rights group approached the Pope.   They said that they noticed he blessed Mankind and Womankind,   and asked if he could also bless gay people.   He said,   “Sure.”   The next day the Pope concluded his sermon with,   “Tuti Homini,   et Tuti Femini,   et Tuti Fruiti”

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