Vanity

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The Irish girl knelt in the confessional and said,

“Bless me, Father, for I have sinned.”

“What is it, child?”

The girl said, “Father, I have committed the sin of vanity. Twice a day I gaze at myself in the mirror and tell myself how beautiful I am.”

The priest turned, took a good look at the girl, and said, “My dear, I have good news. That isn’t a sin – it’s only a mistake.”

Visit to Zoo

Two Gay Guys are walking through a zoo… They come across the gorilla and notice that the male gorilla has a massive erection. The gay men are fascinated by this. One of the men just can’t bear it any longer, and he reaches into the cage to touch it.

The gorilla grabs him, drags him into the cage and mates with him for six hours, nonstop, while the zoo attendants helplessly stand by….

When he’s done, the gorilla throws the man out of the cage. An ambulance is called and the man is taken away to the hospital.

A few days later, his friend visits him in the hospital and asks, “Are you hurt?”

“AM I HURT?” he shouts, “Wouldn’t you be? He hasn’t called…. he hasn’t written…..”

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