A farmer is awakened by his smoke-alarm.

He manages to get to the phone and dials 911.

He reports the fire and gives his address.

The voice at the other end says,

“We’ll get there as soon as we can. What’s the best way to get to your house?”

The agitated farmer says, “Don’t you guys still have those big red trucks?”

Free Advice

A rancher asked his veterinarian for some free advice. “I have a horse that walks normally sometimes, and sometimes he limps. What shall I do?”

The Vet replied, “The next time he walks normally, sell him.”