Working people frequently ask us, as a retired couple, what we do to make our days interesting.

Well, the other day my wife and I went into town and into a shop.

We were only in there for about five minutes. When we came out, there was a policeman writing out a parking ticket.

We went up to him and said, ‘Come on sir, how about giving us pensioners a break?’ He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.

So I called him a fascist bastard. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn tyres.

So my wife called him a total pillock.

He finished the second ticket and put it on the windscreen with the first.

Then he started writing a third ticket.

We continued to call him every name under the sun, and he just kept writing those tickets.

This went on for about 20 minutes, and then our bus arrived.