Little Susie was Mommy’s helper. She helped set the table when company was due for dinner. Soon, everything was on, Mr. Smythe the guest came in, and everyone sat down.
Then Mother noticed something was missing…
“Susie, dear,” she said, “You didn’t put a knife and fork at Mr. Smythe’s place.”
“But, Mommy, I thought he wouldn’t need them,” explained Susie. “Daddy says he always eats like a horse!”
The teacher of the third-grade Sunday School class was planning to take her charges on a “field trip” to the ongoing church service, so they could get an idea of what morning worship looked like.
Before they left their classroom, she thought it would be a good idea to caution them against being boisterous in those surroundings.
Attempting to engage their attention, she asked, “And why do we need to be quiet in church?”
Little Jane, a bright little scholar, replied right away, “Because people are sleeping in there.”
Mr Sugarbrown’s Daughter
A certain little girl, when asked her name, would reply, “I’m Mr. Sugarbrown’s daughter.”
Her mother told her that was wrong, she must say, “I’m Jane Sugarbrown.”
The Vicar spoke to her in Sunday School, and said, “Aren’t you Mr. Sugarbrown’s daughter?”
She replied, “I thought I was, but mother says I’m not.”
A visiting minister at the start of the offertory prayer: “Dear Lord,” he began with arms extended and a rapturous look on his upturned face, “without you we are but dust…”
He would have continued, but at that moment one very obedient little girl (who was listening carefully) leaned over to her mother and asked quite audibly in her shrill little girl voice, “Mommy, what is butt dust?”
Church was pretty much over at that point …