A man is traveling through the jungle for days.

Growing tired he passes by a house and decides to ask if they could put him up for the night.

After he knocks on the door an 89 years old Pilipino man with a beard that reached the floor answers.

The traveler asks if he could stay the night and the Pilipino guy agrees — as long as he doesn’t sleep with his granddaughter.

Before the traveler can agree the old man warns him that if he does make love to his granddaughter he will perform the three greatest Pinoy tortures on him.

The traveler says okay and the old man lets him in.

When it was time for dinner the man meets the granddaughter who is the most beautiful woman he has ever seen.

After he figures that the old man is asleep he goes into her room and makes love to her.

The next morning the man awakes with a 100-lb rock on his chest with a sign reading,

First Pilipino torture: wake up with 100-pound rock on chest.”

Being a strong man, the traveler thinks nothing of it.

He picks up the rock and throws it out the window.

On the back of the rock, there is another sign reading

Second Pilipino torture: right ball tied to rock.”

Thinking quickly, the traveler jumps out the window. On the other side of the window, there is another sign reading,

Third Pilipino torture: left ball tied to bed post.”