Three priests were in a train station on their way home to Pittsburgh.
Behind the ticket counter was a very sexy, shapely, well endowed woman wearing a very tight sweater.
She made the three priests very nervous so they drew straws to determine who would get the tickets.
The first priest approached the window..
“Young lady, I would like three pickets to titsburg.”
He completely lost his composure and fled.
The second priest goes to the window.
“Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburgh and I would like the change in nipples and dimes.” Mortified, he too fled.
The third priest moves to the window.
“Young lady, I would like three tickets to Pittsburgh and I would like the change in nickels and dimes. And, I must say, if you insist on dressing like that, when you get to the pearly gates, St. Finger is going to shake his Peter at you.”
They’re finally together
Maria, an Italian woman was extremely religious.
When she was married, she refused to use protection because she felt that birth control was going against God’s will.
She and her husband had seventeen kids.
Maria’s husband got sick and passed away. As time went by, Maria moved on with her life and married another man. Again, she refused to use protection because of her religious beliefs. She and her second husband have fifteen kids.
Again, Maria lost her husband and soon after her husband’s death, she passed away as well. During the funeral service at the cemetery the priest looked down at the coffin then looked up at the sky and said, “They’re finally together.”
This confused one of the family members at the service and after the ceremony, asks the priest. “Father, back at the cemetery when you said, ‘they’re finally together,’ did you mean Maria and her first husband, or Maria and her second husband?”
The father takes a long look at him and says, “I was talking about her legs.”